As I have mentioned in my podcast, I volunteer outside of a women’s health clinic that has protestors who are against both abortion, and birth control. It is easy to not just demonize those individuals who harass these women, but to turn them into caricatures. Being so steadfast in a dedication to women’s access to reproductive health these Saturday mornings are a reminder of what is at stake, but also a challenge to remain not a polarizing force there as some counter protest but to instead truly be there for the women.
Not all patients will be flippant or ignore the protestors and sidewalk counselors. Just as not all women are happy about their abortions, or comfortable with the choice they are making at that moment. As we discussed in Aspen’s interview this isn’t always the blame of patriarchy, or kyriarchy. Sometimes it is illness, or a lay-off, or something else.
As an escort there is a fine line to walk. There is the urge to be dismissive and mock the protestor. Sometimes this is the best approach when patients are already rolling their eyes and clearly dismissing the ‘message’. But this past weekend I spent a half hour with a woman, and two such ‘sidewalk counselors’ standing, as she explained a particularly complicated medical situation. It was not my place to hear her justifications, worries, and medical realities anymore than it was the protestors. But this is what Saturdays are in front of the clinic there was the ‘counselor’ shoving a pamphlet full of lies and ‘pregnancy center’ phone numbers, and me reiterating ‘this clinic is certified, he is lying, I am sorry’. She clearly was conflicted, shared religious views with this man, and a concern over her situation. So I couldn’t dismiss him entirely, block his path, or mock him without becoming very thing that draws me to this work.
So I repeatedly apologized to her, explaining that her situation was none of any of our businesses, and I just wanted her to get to see a doctor, whenever and wherever she wanted. After twenty tense moments her partner swept in ushering her off of the phone with the crisis center so she would not miss the appointment I heard her ‘counselor’ suggest she ditch.
This was an imperfect situation, and to be honest it hurt, not just because of the lies the protestors told, but the entire framing of the issue. Here is this woman, in a complicated situation and not only was she probably not getting the mental and emotional space to talk about this in her day to day (seeing as society locks up on the issue) but going to the doctor is this polarized exercise where both sides can very easily dismiss you. And I thought back to the Aspen Baker interview, I thought to the points I still have yet to touch on the issue (how racism, ableism, and classism come into play) and I thought of what it is to bear witness to this reality – to do it imperfectly and still try.
